By: Janna Cunningham
When looking to grow your family through assisted reproductive technology, and specifically sperm donation, there are a few considerations to keep in mind. Ultimately, the decision is highly personal, and there are several factors to consider when choosing between a directed (known) sperm donor or an anonymous sperm donor.
Know your Terms:
What is a known sperm donor? A known donor can be a family member, friend, or acquaintance who is willing to contribute his genetic material to help conceive a child without the intent to be a parent.
What is an anonymous donor? A donor found through an agency or a sperm bank that does not share his identity at the outset of your family building, who intends to donate sperm without the intent to be a parent of any resulting child.
There is also the hybrid choice of using an identity-option (or identity-release) donor from a sperm bank, who may be willing to connect with the child once the child is 18 years of age or other agreed upon timeframe.
Pros of using a Directed Sperm Donor
● Genetic connection - if the donor is a family member, both parents can be genetically related to the resulting child.
● Information - you may have a better understanding of the donor’s health, medical history, and personality. Some traits cannot be quantified in a Q&A form or donor profile.
● Relationship - you and your child have the possibility of developing an open relationship with the donor, especially prior to the child turning 18 years old.
● Less expensive - there may less fees for the entire process than obtaining sperm through a sperm bank (screening, collecting, processing, shipping, etc.)
● Identity - the donor-conceived child can know their full identity and may even know the children of the donor, if any.
Pros of using an Anonymous Sperm Donor
● Avoiding conflict - it would be difficult if not impossible for the donor to try to interfere in any parenting decisions or seek any further compensation from you, as the donor would not have access to you.
● Security - it may feel like a more private family without the known donor relationship, especially for the non-biological parent.
Cons of Using a Directed (Known) Sperm Donor
● Uncomfortable - it could be difficult asking the donor personal questions.
● Donor’s feelings - the donor may feel guilty if the artificial insemination or IVF doesn’t work, which could strain your relationship. The donor may feel pressured or change their mind.
● Information - the sperm bank may actually have more details about the donor’s health and history based on their intensive questionnaires than the known sperm donor divulges to you.
Cons of using an Anonymous Sperm Donor
● Cost - it is more expensive to obtain sperm from a sperm bank.
● Communication - Future communication is impractical - if your donor-conceived child wants to contact their donor, it may be impractical or impossible.*
● Psychological impact - if your donor-conceived child wants to learn more about their donor, it may be difficult to obtain the information.*
*While donors may still elect to provide donations of sperm anonymously, the advent and improvement of at-home genetic testing are making the concept of retaining anonymity is obsolete.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to work with a directed donor or an anomyous donor is yours alone to make. I hope this article provides insight into potential considerations.
Comments