Surrogacy Misconception #1: Surrogacy is Only For Rich Celebrities
Many people throughout the United States and the world turn to surrogacy as a means to grow their family. Sometimes intended parents have attempted to conceive for a number of years without success before planning to have a child or children through surrogacy. Other times it is medically inadvisable for an intended parent to gestate a pregnancy, and they need the assistance of a Gestational Surrogate to help them become parents. LGBTQ+ individuals also typically require the assistance of a Gestational Surrogate (and sometimes also an egg donor) in order to have a child.
Yes, gestational surrogacy is expensive. Between the medical expense of a fertility clinic, the cost of an agency or matching platform, and legal expenses, the bill can certainly add up. However, there are a growing number of fertility grants, non-profits, and other organizations to help make surrogacy affordable. Check out the BIVF Foundation, Men Having Babies, and this list of other non-profit organizations to apply for family building grants.
Misconception #2: Surrogates are Being Exploited
Surrogates have legal rights and protections and are entitled to independent legal representation of their choosing. These legal rights and protections are set forth in the gestational surrogacy contract entered into by the parties at the start of the surrogacy journey. While protections for the Surrogate and the Intended Parents are the touchstone of every surrogacy contract, these agreements can and should be further tailored to the unique situation and needs of the parties. With the guidance of a reputable agency and an attorney well-versed in fertility law, your surrogacy journey will be legally secure and the best interests of the Surrogate and the Intended Parents will be well-protected.
The New York Child-Parent Security Act codified protections for anyone acting as a Surrogate in the New York Surrogates' Bill of Rights. While New York is the only state with a statute speciically setting forth the rights of all Gestational Surrogates, these concepts are considered best practice among the surrogacy professional community.
Surrogacy Misconception #3: The Surrogate Will Keep the Baby
The most common surrogacy misconception out there is that the Surrogate will try to keep the baby. Gestational Surrogates (the vast majority of surrogacy journeys are gestational surrogacy, not traditional surrogacy) are not genetically related to the child they agree to carry on behalf of the Intended Parents. Before any embryo transfer procedure, and before the gestational surrogacy agreement is signed, the Surrogate undergoes medical testing and a psychological evaluation to ensure the Surrogate is well-suited for gestational surrogacy. Most fertility clinics also require a joint session among the Surrogate, her spouse or partner, and the Intended Parents to ensure all parties intentions align.
Additionally, part of every surrogacy journey includes the securing of Intended Parents' legal relationship to their child and a plan to confirm that the Surrogate and her spouse or partner do not have any legal rights or obligations with respect to any resulting child. This process will vary by jurisdiction, so it's important to consult with reputable fertility attorneys familiar with the intricacies of cross-border and international surrogacy arrangements at the start of your journey.
Misconception #4: Surrogates Only Do It For The Money
If you listen to the stories of experienced Surrogates you will hear a variety of reasons of why they chose to act as a Surrogate with one singular motivation in common: a desire to help other people have a family. Being the reason why someone else can have a family is incredibly rewarding, and many Surrogate's express that being able to carry a baby for someone else is deeply fulfilling in a way that is singularly unique. I am in awe of the community of women who have been surrogates for others.
While compensation is a practical consideration of any surrogacy journey, it is not the primary motivating factor. Payments to the Surrogate are made in exchange for their time, health care, and the physical and emotional demands of pregnancy, and not for the baby itself. Other payments cover the cost of medical expenses, travel, lost wages, and other costs related to the pregnancy.
Surrogacy Misconception #5: Surrogacy is an Unreliable Process
Though surrogacy remains a legally uncertain process throughout most of the world, it is legally secure in the United States. State laws relating to surrogacy and parentage through assisted reproduction vary greatly state-to-state, and it is an absolute must to consult with reputable fertility clinics, agencies, and lawyers who can guide you through each step of the journey. With proper guidance and representation you can be certain that your surrogacy journey is legally secure.
If you have questions about surrogacy in the United States, you can start by reaching out to a fellow of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys.
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